The Weird Sh*t People Google to Get Here

In honor of it having been 3 months since I started The Leaking Boob (can you believe it?!), I wanted to share with you some of the interesting search terms people plug in that eventually lead them here.  I guess having the words “leaking” and “boob” in the title, plus the word “uncensored” in the tag line just means I’m asking for it.  I have a strange feeling a lot of these folks were not searching for a blog from a first time mom.  Here are my 10 favorites:

10. eating a boob

One of my very first posts was entitled “She’s Eating My Boob: The Not-So-Basics of Breastfeeding“, and I get search terms like this one quite often.  The post does in fact contain a YouTube video, but its not of girls gone wild.  It’s of a 2 year old in a princess dress letting Barbie breastfeed.

9.  boob squash

I guess this is from my product review on the best sports bra for running and nursing?  I’m not sure when else I would have used the word “squash”.

8.  butter

????

7.  think i’m in love with my daughter

That is sorta creepy.  And it’s even creepier that Google thinks my blog might help you…

6.  uncensored boob shots

Nope.  Won’t find it here buddy.  My blog title and tagline are misleading.  I just want people looking for porn to come and read my articles about essential oils and baby reflux.

5.  boobs on my face uncensored

You must hang out with the guy from #6.

4. ass + backside + chest + belly + boobs

This person clearly was not expecting pictures of a 3 month old in onesies and cloth diapers.

3. I told my daughter she was too beautiful to leave the house

Dude, its totally okay to tell your daughter that.  I’m sure all dads and most moms worry sometimes that our daughter’s beauty will end up hurting her or make people want to take advantage of her.  But why are you googling it?

2. eat my pink

I am not going to even begin to pretend I am cool enough to know what this means…

1. cooking oil in vagina bad?

This is actually legit since I wrote a post on how coconut oil makes a great lube and can cure yeast infections.  Thank you, googler, for being as awesomely deranged as I am.

 

Happy 3 months to The Leaking Boob!